Introduction: The Soul’s Dilemma in Modern Times
In our contemporary landscape, human existence has become increasingly defined by acquisition and ownership. The relentless pursuit of material possessions, status symbols, and social influence governs the rhythms of modern life, culminating in a culture where self-worth has become inextricably intertwined with what one possesses rather than who one is. This existential crisis was profoundly articulated by the philosopher-psychoanalyst Erich Fromm, who illuminated two fundamental modes of human existence: the ‘having’ mode and the ‘being’ mode. These orientations represent not merely lifestyle choices, but entire ontological frameworks through which we perceive reality, form relationships, and construct meaning.
The Metaphysics of Having and Being
The ‘Having’ Mode: The Prison of Possession
The ‘having’ mode transcends simple ownership—it constitutes an existential posture toward life itself. In this orientation, existence becomes a continuous process of acquisition, where relationships, experiences, and even knowledge are objects to be possessed rather than realities to be lived. Fromm recognized that this mode of being isn’t merely a personal preference but a structural symptom of late capitalism, which transforms citizens into consumers and consciousness into commodity.
When operating from the ‘having’ paradigm, we encounter others not as fellow travelers on life’s journey, but as instruments for our own gratification or advancement. This instrumental view of relationships creates what Martin Buber called “I-It” rather than “I-Thou” connections—interactions where the other is never truly met in their fullness but reduced to their utility. The tragedy of this mode lies in its inherent contradiction: the more we possess, the more we fear loss, creating an endless cycle of acquisition that never satisfies the deeper hunger of the soul.
The ‘Being’ Mode: The Liberation of Presence
The ‘being’ mode represents a radical alternative—a way of existing characterized by presence, authenticity, and engagement. Those dwelling in this mode find fulfillment not through accumulation but through actualization of their innate capacities for love, creativity, and wonder. This orientation invites us to inhabit each moment fully, to participate in life rather than merely observe or consume it.
The ‘being’ mode cultivates what philosophers call “attentive receptivity”—the capacity to be fully present to ourselves, others, and the world around us. Here, value emerges not from what we own but from the depth and authenticity of our experiences and connections. This stance fosters a profound contentment that doesn’t depend on external validation or material accumulation, but flows from the inherent richness of conscious presence.
Consumerism: The Metaphysical Void Disguised as Abundance
Consumerism represents far more than an economic system—it constitutes a comprehensive worldview that shapes our very perception of reality. At its core lies the promise that fulfillment can be purchased, that identity can be assembled through acquisition, and that emptiness can be filled with possessions. This narrative infiltrates consciousness so thoroughly that it becomes invisible, operating as the unquestioned background of contemporary life.
The advertising industry functions as the modern priesthood of this secular religion, creating not just desire for products but metaphysical narratives about what constitutes the good life. Through sophisticated manipulation of symbol and story, advertising doesn’t merely sell products but packages dreams, identities, and even transcendence itself. The result is a profound displacement of spiritual longing onto material objects—what theologian Paul Tillich called “ultimate concern” directed toward that which cannot ultimately fulfill.
The Spiritual Bankruptcy of Materialistic Abundance
In a consumer society, spirituality itself becomes commodified—packaged, marketed, and sold as yet another lifestyle accessory. Religious symbols become brand logos, meditation becomes a productivity hack, and the search for meaning becomes yet another form of consumption. This commercialization of the sacred represents not merely cultural appropriation but a fundamental category error—treating that which belongs to the realm of being as if it were something to be had.
The penetration of consumerism into spiritual life creates what sociologists call “spiritual anomie”—a state of normlessness and disconnection from authentic sources of meaning. When brands become primary sources of identity and belonging, they displace the deeper forms of community and tradition that have historically nourished the human spirit. The result is a peculiar form of affluent poverty—material abundance alongside spiritual destitution.
This commodification extends even to our most intimate relationships, transforming friendship, romance, and community into transactions governed by cost-benefit analysis rather than covenant and commitment. The disposable mentality cultivated by consumer culture infiltrates our approach to people, treating them as interchangeable and expendable rather than irreplaceable and sacred.
Being as Interiority, Having as Exteriority: The Dialectics of Existence
The tension between being and having can be understood as a dialectic between interiority and exteriority—between the inner life of consciousness and the outer world of objects. When the balance tilts excessively toward exteriority, we become alienated from our own depths, treating ourselves as objects to be optimized rather than mysteries to be explored. This externalization of value creates what philosopher Charles Taylor calls “the malaise of modernity”—a pervasive sense of flatness and disenchantment despite material comfort.
This dialectic isn’t merely theoretical but manifests in our lived experience as a fundamental tension. In moments of profound connection, creative flow, or contemplative awareness, we taste the richness of being. Yet the gravitational pull of the having mode continually draws us back into the pursuit of external validation and acquisition. This oscillation constitutes the existential rhythm of contemporary life—the soul’s struggle to remember its own depth amid the dazzling distractions of consumerism.
Community as Counterculture: Reclaiming the Commons of Being
The journey from having to being cannot be undertaken in isolation. It requires what sociologist Robert Bellah called “communities of memory”—groups united not merely by shared interests but by shared stories, values, and practices. These communities create contexts where alternative ways of being can be cultivated and sustained against the dominant currents of consumer culture.
Authentic community offers what the market cannot—relationships based not on exchange but on gift, spaces where one’s worth isn’t determined by productive output, and traditions that connect us to something larger than our individual desires. Such communities function as laboratories for a different kind of economy—what theologian John Milbank calls “an economy of gift” rather than an economy of scarcity and accumulation.
The Practice of Being: Cultivating Presence in a Distracted World
The shift from having to being isn’t accomplished through mere intellectual assent but requires disciplined practice. Drawing on diverse wisdom traditions, we can identify several practices that foster the capacity for presence:
- Contemplative practice: Regular engagement with meditation, prayer, or other forms of mindfulness that train attention and cultivate awareness of the present moment.
- Sabbath-keeping: The countercultural practice of setting aside time that is not instrumentalized or productive, creating space for being rather than doing or having.
- Gratitude: The deliberate cultivation of appreciation for what is already present, countering the scarcity mindset that drives compulsive acquisition.
- Simplicity: The intentional limitation of possessions and commitments to create space for depth rather than breadth of experience.
These practices don’t merely reduce stress or increase wellbeing—they gradually reshape consciousness itself, training us to inhabit reality differently and perceive value beyond the metric of ownership.
Conclusion: The Revolutionary Act of Being
The choice between having and being represents more than a personal lifestyle preference—it constitutes a profound political and spiritual stance toward existence itself. In a world organized around consumption, the decision to prioritize being over having becomes a revolutionary act, challenging the fundamental premises of the dominant social order.
This revolution begins not with external reform but with internal transformation—a metamorphosis of consciousness that gradually ripples outward into relationships, communities, and institutions. As philosopher Pierre Hadot observed, “The true philosophical act is not the writing of a treatise but the transformation of one’s way of being-in-the-world.”
Ultimately, the journey from having to being invites us to remember what Martin Heidegger called our “forgotten essence”—the depth dimension of existence that transcends acquisition and accumulation. In this remembering lies the possibility of authentic existence, not as something to be achieved or possessed, but as a gift to be received and embodied moment by moment, breath by breath, in the irreplaceable miracle of the present.
After you have understood the difference between being and having, why not test your personality to learn more about your predisposition toward one or the other?
TAKE THE GREAT PERSONALITY TEST
MINI SELF-EVALUATION TEST: ARE YOU A MATERIALIST/CONSUMERIST PERSON?
Read the sentences below and select the ones you agree with and that you think make the most sense.
Count the number of boxes checked and read the corresponding profile.
0: You are not materialist and consumerist at all
1-2: You are hardly materialist and consumerist
3-4: You are quite materialist and consumerist
5-6: You are extremely materialist and consumerist
MINI SELF-ADMINISTERED TEST: ARE YOU A FRIVOLOUS/SUPERFICIAL PERSON?
Read the sentences below and select the ones you agree with and that you think make the most sense.
Count the number of boxes checked and read the corresponding profile.
0: You are not superficial at all
1-2: You are frivolous from time to time
3-4: You tend to be superficial
5-6: You are very frivolous and superficial